I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
