You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
