I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
wow bdsm is so cute
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
