Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
