Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
