the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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