Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
