That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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