Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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