He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
