I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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