If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think your dad took our porno
whose parrot is this?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
