OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
