It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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