wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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