Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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