I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have fence marks all over my body
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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