I think i peed on brittanys purse
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
