I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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