I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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