its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
