Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
