Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
