just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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