I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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