Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So. Much. Porn.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
