hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if only i could text you this smell
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
