Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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