She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
