Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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