Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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