I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
