What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
