i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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