sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
