Kiss
Puke
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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