My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
