see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
soo... how was my night?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
