brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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