It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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