One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
