Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
