Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize