oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
