I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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