Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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