the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
