i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i out mim tonsoeep
Pooping to opera.
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