I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
