How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
