If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
