And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
