giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
