i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
